Sunday, January 11, 2009

New Steps

So, I went to the doctor this last week to talk about endometriosis. I went in to the appointment expecting to have to fight for lapriscopy (see endometriosis post) and the doctor (after a little bit of convincing) said that she would be totally willing to do the lapriscopy. She said, however, there were other ways of dealing with the pain of endometriosis (birth control...kinda defeats the purpose) and I informed her that we had actually been trying to conceive for over three years. She asked, "Well, do you want to control the pain by lapriscopy? You may or may not have it. Or would you like to pursue the route of getting pregnant?"

....

Now, I have to preface this, because I went into this appointment with a prayer in my heart that whatever needed to happen-would happen. I was expecting to come out of the appointment with a scheduled surgery.

....

I asked what option I had, and she offered to put me on Clomid. Clomid is a fertility drug that stimulates and increases the potency of ovulation. She said that there is no reason Clinton and I have not conceived yet and that if I would like to go a less invasive route first, she would put me on Clomid. I'm still not sure why, but I decided to go with the Clomid option. I don't really have any problems with my ovulation, however my cycle is long (usually about 42 days).

When you've dealt with infertility for a long time you begin to become calloused to anything actually working, so I'm not saying that I am going to get pregnant off this, however, I do feel that this is the step that Heavenly Father would have us take at this time. Perhaps it is just one more thing that I can cross of my list of "have-dones". Perhaps I just need to see that I really have done everything that I need to do before I do something more invasive like lapriscopy. Perhaps this will be the answer we've been waiting for for so long.

So, this is where we are. Now is the time of my life that I become a regular at the doctor's office and get over my anxiety with needles...because there will be lots in my future!

I feel SO BLESSED though. I have been in limbo for so long, not being able to afford to do any of this (Yeah student loans and living in my parents' basement!) and now I finally can. I feel like I am moving forward. I feel like changes are happening and looking back seems to be so short. Again, I have no idea where this will lead, if anywhere, but I know that we have received direction from the Lord and that He will bless us in whatever way is right.

7 comments:

MotherBeck said...

I am so glad you opened up your Blog. I hope that i can be a support to you and that you can get some kind of comfort. When I was trying to get pregnant with Sam it took a little over a year and I was getting scared. I had a prescription for Clomid but just didn't feel right about it, a few months later I got pregnant. My issue was just the birth control I had taken took a long time to get out of my system. I know that my trying for a year doesn't compare to your struggle, I just hope that you will know that you really are not alone and that we are all here for you.

Jessyquita said...

Hi Danielle, I think you left a comment on my blog, i think it was you! Anyway, I'm happy you opened your blog. There is so much support out there that you will recieve :)
As far as Clomid, my close friend was having trouble getting pregnant, they were trying for 3 years and she then she took clomid. She got pregnant with triplets! They are all Sophia's age now, and are the cutest boys.
Anyway, I hope you don't mind me reading your blog.

Jessica

Kevin Phair said...

Thanks for opening your blog! I've always wanted to talk to you about it but I know it's a sensitive subject for most people so I choose not to ask. I'm glad you're able to be so positive about it and I hope the Clomid works for you! You're awesome and we HAVE to hang out sometime! It's been far too long!
-Alyssa

Davenports said...

OH Dani, how my heart aches for you! I just want to reach inside you and take out whatever it is that is stopping you from conceiving. I remember that Sunday you were talking about when Stacie talked about her problems. I remember sitting next to you and feeling how much you hurt in side even though you were strong and didn't show much emotion. It probably made it worse that I had Brynsley with me too. I hope that one day you will get the answers to your prayers. I know the lord has a plan for you, and for all of us. We all have things we struggle with and some are far more painful than others. I loved to hear that you see the past 5.5years as a blessing with getting to be with just Clinton. And making your marriage stronger. Sometimes I wish we would have waited so we could have had more time to be just the 2 of us. That is a blessing for you! I hope you know that I am always will to listen if you need an ear. I can't say that I know what you are going through because I haven't had to wait as long as you but I do remember the feelings of trying and it not working for months, and months. It's painful and I can only imagine how it must feel. Know that I love you and I support you in all that you do. Remember that Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan for you!!! I will cry with you...as I already have in reading your posts.

Emily said...

Dani, thanks again for the call today, it really helped me feel more positive. And I'm excited that we can be excited for each other in the new things we are each trying. Here's to 2009 being our year!

smiliesar said...

Danielle- Thanks for the invite. I can understand a small portion of where you are coming from since we struggled for over a year to get pregnant. I hope the Clomid helps you in some way (a pregnancy or one more thing to tell the doctors you have tried to get to what really needs to happen for you). Kevin and I will be praying for you. I do love your posts about finding the blessings through your trial! That's such an inspiration to me. I need to remember to do that too through our trails.

Thanks,
Sarah

Shauna said...

Jeff sent me the link to your blog. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. My heart aches for you at this time, because I know exactly what you are feeling. Women who have infertility problems are truly my heros.

I really admire you putting everything out there. I think it's hard for people who haven't been there to understand all the emotions and ups and downs that we go through. Hopefully this blog will bring insight and understanding to people.

I love you tons, and I'm excited to follow you on your journey. God does have a plan for you and your little family, and I'm excited to see it all unfold. Take care, and thanks for inviting me into this personal part of your life. I feel very honored.